ParentingHub

When, whether, how and what to give for pocket money is an issue that often concerns parents. There is not just one way to handle this.

To a large extent it depends on family values, family practices and family finances, but there are some general points that you might like to consider in making your decision.

Whether to give pocket money
• The main reason for giving pocket money is to help children learn to manage money while they are still young and you can still guide them.
• It helps children to make choices and to see that sometimes people have to wait and save up to get what they really want.
• The age at which you start giving pocket money depends on your child and you. However, check what their friends’ parents are doing so they don’t feel too different.
• Some parents put part of children’s pocket money in a bank account for them. Check that the bank does not charge any fees on this amount if you do this.
• Some parents give pocket money and ask the child to bank a portion regularly.

Should pocket money be earned?
• Many parents believe that if they decide to give pocket money, a certain basic amount should be given to the child just because he is a member of the family and not as payment for jobs.
• At the same time, children are expected to do some chores as part of their contribution to the family.
• If there is something they really want to buy, they can either save this pocket money and wait until they have enough, or do extra jobs to earn some money and buy it sooner.

How much pocket money?
There is no special formula and how much will depend on a number of things.
• What you can afford.
• What the pocket money is expected to cover.
• The ‘going rate’ among other families in similar circumstances to yours.
• If your child has a lot less than the going rate she may feel hard done by and be tempted to steal.
• If she has a lot more it can cause resentment and jealousy amongst her friends.
• At some stage children need to learn that all families are different in how much money they have and how they decide it will be spent.
• The amount of pocket money a child receives usually increases as the child gets older and takes more personal responsibility.

What should pocket money cover?
This will depend on what you work out with your child. In the primary school years you might decide, for example, that it should cover some saving, some for school lunches and some for your child to decide just what he wants to use it for. You might then have to be careful not to criticise his choices if you are not happy with them. Giving pocket money and then telling your child exactly what he must use it for does not develop a sense of responsibility or independence in him.

Pocket money and punishment
Stopping pocket money often seems an easy answer if your child has done something wrong. Sometimes this is okay. For example, if he has carelessly broken something it may be important for him to help pay for the replacement by contributing part of his pocket money each week if this seems fair. However, taking away all of your child’s pocket money, especially over a period of time, can cause a lot of resentment towards you and difficulty with friends.

Pocket money and teenagers
Teenagers are moving towards independence and it will help them if they have some practice in managing money while they still have your guidance.
• Depending on your teenager’s maturity you might decide to give him a spending allowance to cover his entertainment costs and perhaps to buy his clothes.
• If he makes a poor decision about something it is a very good way for him to learn for when he comes to spending his own money.
• Older teenagers often have opportunities to earn some pocket money from part time work outside the home. How they use this money varies from family to family.
• In some families there may be a need for teenagers to contribute something towards the family or their own expenses.
• When young people begin to work full time many families would expect a contribution towards board.
While you may want to say that the family money is not to be spent on certain things (for example, cigarettes), teenagers need to have some control of their money in order to learn to manage it.