ParentingHub

What should I say? That's the question most parents ask themselves when it comes to talking about puberty and/or the birds and bees. Many educated, well-intentioned parents don't have a conversation about puberty and the birds and bees merely because they don't know how to approach it or what to say. Try these steps.

o 1
Determine when it is appropriate to talk to your child about puberty or the birds and bees. Each child is different and each parent will need to determine when it is right for their child or family. Some parents start the conversation very early just by talking about body parts and their function. There is no right or wrong age and it is never too late to have the conversation.

o 2
Educate yourself before you try to educate your child. Often parents aren't sure of the right terminology to use or how to explain it in simple terms without getting all tongue-tied. Purchase books on puberty or the birds and bees that are age appropriate and read them yourself! Then, use them as tools to help you explain.

o 3
Set the scene. For some parents this conversation starts very young, and is ongoing (not just a single conversation). They prefer to keep the conversation casual and a part of everyday conversation. But if you are a parent that prefers to have one "big talk", make sure you set enough time aside, choose a place that is comfortable for both you and your child, is quiet and without interruptions (It can be hard to carry on this conversation at a restaurant when you are surrounded by strangers with a lot of noise and someone trying to take your food order).

o 4
Tell your child that you hope they feel comfortable asking you questions, but if they don't want to, you understand. You can then give them the books so they can reference back to them for questions they may be too embarrassed to ask. See some of these books on www.cjkidz.com (click on puberty on the "Help and Ideas for Kidz" page). Choose a book that explains the changes their body will go through. Read the description and reviews to make sure it matches what you are looking for. Parents may also want to provide their child with books and products for taking care of their body both on the inside (self-esteem, respect, nutrition) and out (bath or hygiene products, acne products, shaving kit, etc.)

o 5
End the conversation letting your child know that this is one of many conversations you hope to have as they continue to grow up. Then follow up shortly thereafter (next day or few days) to touch base again and ask "did you have any questions you need answered or anything else you wanted to talk about?"

o 6
As your child becomes a teen set up periodic or regular one-on-one time or date nights with them, choosing things they might want to do or restaurants they may want to go to. That way, as they go through puberty, adolescence, and the teenage years you are keeping the lines of communication open and creating enough good times to get you through the bad ones that inevitably will arise.