ParentingHub

When partners in a marriage value equality, they see each other as equals, treat each other with respect, consider each other’s needs and support one another.

Equals agree on goals together and work as a team to achieve them. They show equal commitment to the relationship and provide mutual support and nurturing. Each values the other’s work life as highly as his or her own.

Most couples say they prefer an equal partnership, but studies show that few couples actually have one.

In most marriages, women do an unfair share of household chores and the majority of child care, regardless of whether they work outside the home or not. Specifically, women do 2-3 times as much housework as men. Mothers spend 3-5 hours actively involved with their children for every hour that fathers spend. .

Men, on the other hand, have traditionally had more power in decision making.

Is it worth working toward an equal partnership? .

Research suggests the answer is yes. An equal partnership benefits marriages as a whole and benefits husbands and wives individually. Here’s how:.

Happier marriages:
Equal partnership fosters closeness between husband and wife, resulting in a stronger and happier marriage. Spouses feel better about themselves and each other, which makes them more likely to share their thoughts and feelings. This greater emotional intimacy leads to greater physical intimacy, an important element of a happy marriage. Couples with an equal partnership also report more stability in their marriage, less conflict, less dependency and less resentment.

Benefits to men:
Men benefit emotionally from equal partnership because there is greater openness and they feel better about their marriage. They also benefit from the greater physical intimacy that comes with equal partnership. Physical intimacy improves physical health and reduces stress. Men in happy marriages also are more productive at work because they are less distracted by concerns at home.

Benefits to women:
The close communication and emotional intimacy in an equal partnership greatly benefit women. Research shows that having an equal say in decision making is the most important contributor to wives’ perception of their marriages as happy and satisfying. Wives are happier when their husbands appreciate them for the work they do in the home and when their husbands are co-partners in home matters An added plus is that children whose parents treat each other as equals have an advantage in treating men and women equally as they get older. Girls have more self-respect than those raised to believe “boys are better”, and the unified front that equal parents show offers stability and security for kids.