ParentingHub

We are all more obsessed with our appearance than we like to admit. When walking past a mirror or store window, sometimes we sneakily steal a glance without making it too obvious. Just to see if our hair is still in place or if our new shoes or fancy tie look good on us. In fact, don't feel bad about this, because concern about appearance is quite normal and understandable. "Every period of history has had its own standards of what is and is not beautiful, and every contemporary society has its own distinctive concept of the ideal physical attributes".

Now, let's look at a child's world and what they might see in the mirror! Childhood is no longer a simple or carefree place to grow. Children have a natural tendency to compare themselves to others, to wear branded clothing or carry the latest i-phone in an attempt to "fit in". Simply put, the belief system that has permeated our younger generation is that if you don't look good in the mirror, you won't be accepted!
Coupled with this need for acceptance we are seeing childhood becoming filled with complex struggles that we as children never even had to contemplate facing as we were growing up. Sex, drugs, promiscuity, stress, depression, anger, learning difficulties are just a few of the toxic side-effects that are taking hold of many of our children as young as 11 and entering into their teen years. How this impacts on body image is not yet conclusive, but we can deduce that a large percentage of our children are living with a distorted body image.

Research is of the view that a child's basic body image is determined by age six. With the influx of television, advertising and the media, we have seen many sources that are impacting negatively on our kids and the formation of their body image. We should however not discount that by far the strongest influence on a child's body image is parental body image. It is highly likely that a child who grows up with a parent who seeks to alter his or her own body, through plastic surgery, crash diets, botox and exercise programmes, will grow up to feel the same despair and practice the same potentially destructive behaviours.

Body image has a dramatic effect on behaviour in children, and it is important for parents to intervene by being a good role model for their own body image. Taking time to discuss your child's positive attributes and giving compliments that are genuine will all serve to boost their self esteem which in turn will impact positively on their body image.

So the next time your child wants a new outfit for that school disco, are you going to go ahead and get one, OR are you going to tell your child that they have awesome attributes and they don't need fancy clothing to make them feel good. Simple in theory, but difficult in practice but keep this little ritual of positivity going with your child and soon they will feel inspired to be themselves in a world full of clones who dress and try to look the same. Remember uniqueness is our stamp of self-approval that we give as a gift to ourselves!